5 Things I wish I’d Known in High School

When I was in high school, I was still very shy and unsure of myself. It took quite a lot before my mindset changed. I’m 46, and in some ways, I’m not all the way there yet.

It was quite popular awhile back to write a letter to your younger self. I’m not going to write a letter, but I am going to share some things I know now that I wish I’d known then.

1. Just because you’re chosen last doesn’t mean you are unworthy. Even in high school gym class they still used the archaic practice of having the star athletes choose teams. As a child, I was uncoordinated. By the time I was in high school, I had added to that being overweight. I was a double liability.

That felt like a comment on my worth, but it wasn’t. I couldn’t help them win the game, which is what they cared about at that point, but I was able to help them with schoolwork, and I did. What I’m getting at is I wish I’d realized that you can’t be good at everything, but everyone is good at something. We all have our talents and they are worth just as much as the talents of the kids in gym class. There is more than one way to help the “team!”

2. What people say about you is not who you are. I was/ am not only overweight, I was poor. I didn’t have the newest fashions or the coolest hairstyle, so I was made fun of a lot. I was called a lot of names and mean things were said about me by many people. At that time, I took those things to heart. I let them define me. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t forever the person I was then. Your circumstances change, and some things you have the ability to change yourself.

3. Dream big. You’re capable of more than you think! Again, don’t let the people around you define you. That includes your family. Some families have a preconceived idea of what you will “be when you grow up.” Just because they think it doesn’t mean you must be it.

Your dad may dream that you will grow up and take over the family business. Your mom may dream of you becoming a successful doctor like your cousin Fred. Your teacher may assume you will be a bum because of your grades. Your classmates may think you will become president because you like to order people around.

None of this matters. Figure out what your passion is and do what you need to get there. There is a gift inside that most others can’t see. You are the one who has to see it and nourish it. Get the training needed. Read books concerning it. Talk to people who do it. Make that dream come true!

4. Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. It seems so wonderful when you are young, but as my daughter recently said, “Mom, being a grown-up is tough.” Grown-ups have bills to pay and decisions to make and responsibilities to meet.

Be a kid for a while. Enjoy it. I’m not saying not to be responsible, but don’t be so quick to take on the world. It’ll still be there when you’re grown. If not, well, you don’t have to worry about it anyway.

5. Things change. Life will not always be the same as it is now. Family, even that pesky little brother who breaks everything, will grow older. You will lose people you love. You will love new people. Friends will slip out of your life, but you will meet others.

As bleak as life may seem at times, there is tomorrow. It may sound trite, but “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” That may sound like something an old person says. Compared to a teen, I am old. There’s a reason sayings stand the test of time. It’s because they’re valid.

Don’t sit around and wait for things to change. Some things change over time, but some things require you to be a catalyst to change them. Learn which things are which.

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