One Thing My Mother Taught Me
My mother and I had a contentious relationship, but there is one phrase she always said that has lived with me and grown more meaningful since she passed.
I would often have trouble with my math homework. (Math is still my enemy.) I would go to the extreme and be certain that I would never get into college, or graduate high school, for that matter. My mom would say, “Don’t borrow trouble.” That sentence would always make me mad. I would think, “She just doesn’t get it! She’s blowing it off because she doesn’t have difficulty with math. What does she know? She doesn’t have to worry about school.”
I didn’t realize then how much wisdom was in those three words.
There are a few things that folksy wisdom means.
- Don’t worry about a problem that may not be a problem. My friend talks to me about her husband being moody, and she is certain they are headed for divorce. I tell her, “Don’t borrow trouble,” and I counsel her to speak with her husband and find out the issue.
2. Don’t jump to conclusions when you haven’t worked out a solution. My daughter would have trouble in math, and I would tell her, “Don’t borrow trouble,” then I would counsel her to talk with her teacher or a student who is doing well in class.
3. Don’t jump to conclusions about a problem that may be easily fixed. A friend who lives in my building may be certain that another tenant is talking about them. I tell them, “Don’t borrow trouble,” then suggest that they go to that person and calmly see if they have a problem with them. That way they can explain themselves, work on the issue, or find that they didn’t have an issue, to begin with.
I have found myself using those three words several times since I have gotten older. I even say it to myself!